My Last Words on Space Invaders

“In a recent 60 Minutes interview, Lue Elizondo claimed the aircraft were undetectable on radar and could pull “6-to-700 g-forces” and “fly at 13,000 miles an hour.” And on Wednesday he claimed more than just reports exist.”

The Fox News report from that paragon of reporting Tucker Carlson (cited above) goes on to reveal Elizondo’s claim that, “The United States government is in possession of exotic material,” Elizondo claimed. “More analysis needs to be done.”

This is the former government employee who is driving the latest flying saucer mania. He sounds very sane…and he probably is…because this is a scam.

First of all, it is pretty damn near impossible for the government to prove that it isn’t secretly hoarding “exotic materials” garnered from crashed UFOs. This claim puts the government in the uncomfortable position of having to prove that something doesn’t exist. (If their technology is so advanced, why do their spacecraft ever crash at all?)

But, wait, like the salesman said, there’s more:

1) If these unidentified aerial phenomena are undetectable by radar, how have we been detecting them on radar plots that have been distributed via social media?

2) If they are undetectable by radar, how are we clocking their speeds? (Yes, I know there are other methods but it is pretty difficult to calculate speeds of aerial objects when there are no fixed points of reference, which are difficult to find in mid-air situations.)

3) Thirteen thousand miles an hour is only half as fast as the launch vehicles we use to throw things into orbit. In the overall scheme of things, it’s not that’s not all that fast..but there is no way known to us to generate those velocities without some kind of energy bloom being produced.

4) The objects are thought to be generating 600–700 gees of acceleration. Human bodies can only take 9 gees of acceleration. At 600 gees there is no conceivable biological entity that would not be turned into strawberry jam if, indeed, their blood were red. (Please, no inertial drive fans.)

Given the alleged performance characteristics of these phenomena, it is obvious that these objects, if they exist at all, are almost certainly unmanned drones. Until those drones start shooting our planes down (something they don’t seem interested in doing) the sanest course of action is to simply ignore them until they become a nuisance.

5) Mass versus Velocity: In order to produce velocities of these magnitudes, the vehicles producing them would need to be large enough to carry enormous fuel reserves, which means that they would necessarily be several orders of magnitude larger than their apparent sizes.

Oh, yes, I know all about the standard argument that they are much more advanced than we are and have propulsion systems beyond our imagination, along with devices that cancel out the perceived gravities produced by high accelerations, in defiance of the known laws of physics.

The comeback against that rational thought is that we are wrong about the laws of physics.

None of this, however, explains why these phenomena never land except in Republican states like Kansas, Arkansas, Arizona, and Wyoming (New Mexico was Republican until recently) and then only to create crop circles and bugger unfortunate farmers.

It doesn’t explain why these aliens (if anyone seriously thinks they are aliens) are coming here at all to this poor, blighted planet when their superior technology so far exceeds ours that there is nothing for them to take away from Earth that they can’t produce themselves. Are they here to save the whales? If so, they are doing a piss poor job of it.

Throughout the history of this planet, exploration has been driven by the desire to profit from the exploitation of natural resources, to spread (or escape from) religious persecution (which includes the imposition of political philosophies), to obtain captive markets, or for bragging rights (there was no real other reason to climb Mt Everest or travel to the North or South poles.)

Exporting material goods across interstellar space simply wouldn’t be worth the cost…leaving no economic reason for an alien culture to expend the resources required to mount expeditions to come here.

If they are here “To Serve Man,” they have been doing a piss-poor job of it so far. Why not just land on the White House lawn and ring the front doorbell? (Does the White House have a front doorbell and, if so, why?)

No, what we are seeing here is the latest distracting craziness. We are living through a time in which magical thinking has taken hold of an INCREASING percentage of the world’s population. We see this among evangelicals, abortion warriors, Republicans, vaccine rejectionists, and even on the far left, which is just as lunatic as the far right.

The belief in extraterrestrials is a common unifying factor among conspiracy theorists and, when you dig down far enough, you discover that the Republican aberration is nothing less than a conglomeration of conspiracy theories.

The bottom line: what difference does it make? How do these phenomena affect us?

The answer is that they reinforce magical thinking…and there’s a lot of money to be made purveying nonsense to magical thinkers.

So, why do I bother? Well, my car battery is charging and I have nothing else to do right now.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store